Moving Forward
It's been a while since I ventured on here but I think it's time again. May is almost gone and with it I hope to send some of the pain this last school has found me in. It is time to heal. Healing is a part of life that I seem to ignore so often. Instead of letting God fill the voids that open up in my life I try other things. I've decided to compile a list so that it will stare me in the face the next time I fall back into this habit. Void filling activities that I have engaged in recently include:
Movies - I have seen so many movies recently it's not even funny, my Dad does this too
Reading
Computer
Shopping - why does spending a little money always seem to make me feel better?
Music
Time with friends
Dieting and comming off my diet
Excercising - though this was a little short lived and I actually need to start again
Keeping my room organized - also a bit short lived
Writing a novel
Daydreaming about my future life
Agonizing over the fact that I am currently dateless
None of these things, except the last one and the part about comming off my diet, are bad things to have in my life. I wish that I would read, spend meaningful time with friends, excercise, diet (or at least eat in a healthy manner), and keep my room straight more then I do. I would also love to actually complete that novel, even if I never do anything with it beyond that. However, I need to be honest with myself in the fact that lately, I have been looking to these things, rather than God for fulfillment. It doesn't work. In fact, it's just like the druggie and his drugs, or the durnkard and his drink: it always leaves him looking for more. It is time to stop searching. I already have the answer. Why have I wandered? Frustration perhaps. Guilt. Lack of faith. Apathy (gulp). Perhaps I will even allow that I have been attacked by the devil. But no more. It is time to rise from this proverbial quicksand and grab on to the only solid Thing I have found. I know in my head that Jesus will take me back and now it's time to believe it in my heart and put that faith into practice.
Movies - I have seen so many movies recently it's not even funny, my Dad does this too
Reading
Computer
Shopping - why does spending a little money always seem to make me feel better?
Music
Time with friends
Dieting and comming off my diet
Excercising - though this was a little short lived and I actually need to start again
Keeping my room organized - also a bit short lived
Writing a novel
Daydreaming about my future life
Agonizing over the fact that I am currently dateless
None of these things, except the last one and the part about comming off my diet, are bad things to have in my life. I wish that I would read, spend meaningful time with friends, excercise, diet (or at least eat in a healthy manner), and keep my room straight more then I do. I would also love to actually complete that novel, even if I never do anything with it beyond that. However, I need to be honest with myself in the fact that lately, I have been looking to these things, rather than God for fulfillment. It doesn't work. In fact, it's just like the druggie and his drugs, or the durnkard and his drink: it always leaves him looking for more. It is time to stop searching. I already have the answer. Why have I wandered? Frustration perhaps. Guilt. Lack of faith. Apathy (gulp). Perhaps I will even allow that I have been attacked by the devil. But no more. It is time to rise from this proverbial quicksand and grab on to the only solid Thing I have found. I know in my head that Jesus will take me back and now it's time to believe it in my heart and put that faith into practice.
posted by Lilouwyn | 12:39 AM
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