Flash Forward - 1 year 9 months later . . .

So it's been a little while. I think I can safely say that I am not cut out to keep a diary. Just a little has happened in 21 months. I married Jeremy March 13, 2009. I got a job in May 2008 at Payless Shoesource and have been working there ever since spanning 3 different stores and up to 5 as the occasion arises. I live in a smallish to medium size apartment about 30 minutes away from my parent's house. My husband and I rescued a cat (now a cat) and are house sitting another for the next couple of years. Friends have gone and come. My family has expanded. I now share a bed and actually use the family coffee pot to make coffee, not just hot water. My time and attention somehow seem to go many more directions than they ever did in college which I did not think was possible. I do have more responsibility but it is good. God has been good. He has gently guided my life to this point and although I sort of feel as though in a holding pattern I know it is one of His design. My only fear of it is getting so used to it that I miss the flight. More to come soon. My husband wants to go to bed.

Hello

So I seem to have more of a random audience than I thought. My last post being in August of last year I thought it sufficient time for an update. Let's see now what are the important points?
1) I'M GRADUATING COLLEGE IN 40 DAYS!!! 40 DAYS!!!! I started this blog right at the beginnging of college are now here we are, comming to the end.
2) I've been dating the same guy now for six months. Quite an accomplishment considering my previous track record. And you know what? His name is Jeremy, he is wonderful, I am in love with him, and, I don't intend on breaking up with him, ever.
3) I am looking for a job. Not too surprising I know, but nevertheless I find myself in competition with the mass of Jacksonville also trying to make ends meet. I am not completely opposed to the idea of teaching next Fall, but I'm not set on it either. I put in my application at the Jacksonville Zoo last Friday and we'll just see what comes of that. If I don't get that, I'm looking into subbing and another part-time job. God will guide in the direction He wants.
On the less important side:
4) I got a great new computer recently. It has really made computing easier too! I can actually see everything I'm supposed to on web sites! I have the grandparents to thank for this development.
5) I joined a gym. Not too many amazing results yet but I guess that kind of depends on my diet as well which I really haven't been paying too much attention to. Too stressful. . .
Well, I think that should do it for now. Do you feel updated? I'm glad, it's an uplifting feeling!

Back to Work

So I went back to work today . . . yeah! I am so ready to be busy again. I am now "makin' the pizza" (Kevin James referrence for any who may be playing at home) so I had to come in today and do them since Academy starts tommorow. It wasn't too bad. I listened to almost all the Christian music on my mp3 player though. I had to do 60 pizzas and guess how long it took me? 4 hours! That's like 4 minutes a pizza, or 15 pizzas an hour, which sounds even worse. That does include prep and clean up and a pause to get a hot chocolate (it was really cold in there) and a pause to eat a Dagwoodesq sandwhich (that's a Sunday funnies refference in case you were wondering again) that Johnny made me. This thing had roast beef, pastrami, turkey and American cheese on it. I think it was basically all the edible contents of the walk-in. But anyways, back to the pizza. I decided to make a few changes from how Courtney did it. For instance, I am using a metal bowl to measure the cheese, not a disposable styrofoam one. I do have to take into account that it weighs 6 ounces and I need 7.5 ounces of cheese. On my first attempt the combined weight was 15.5 onces. Yeah. I haven't had math in a long time. I figrued out pretty quick though that it should only be 13.5 onces. Pretty sad, I know. My other difference/improvement is that I decided to put the pepperonis in a styrofoam bowl to hold them because 1) I can hold more and don't have to reach for them as much and 2) my hands don't get as cold this way. However, this didn't seem to save me that much time as it still took me how long to finish? Oh yeah, four hours.

An Update on my Dad

I'll try to keep this brief. For those of you whom I havn't gotten around to telling, my Dad has been having some trouble with his arm/neck/shoulder/upper back to the extent that it has limited his normal function. It has been getting pained and then going numb for about two months now (a fact I was ignorant of until recently) but on last Tuesday it got so bad that he couldn't drive himself to work. My mom took him to the doctor who confirmed that it was not his heart but wasn't able to tell him much else and put him on some medications. Wednesday and Thursday found him no better so my Mom took him to the Emergency Room at about 4:00 pm on Thursday but they did not return until about 4:00 am. They took 3 ex-rays and couldn't tell him anything new either. On Saturday I took him to the chiropractor who was finally able to tell him what was wrong, his C5 was degenerated or something of the like. Basically there is something wrong with the 5th vertebre in his neck but it is only, in the chiropractors words, mild. The chiropractor did a few adjustments and showed me how to stretch his neck at home and thought that with this he would be able to go back to work on Monday. He was too sore to go to church on Sunday morning but he went on Sunday night and did his best. He went on to work Monday and to another appointment with the chiropractor after that but he was still in a lot of pain. He stayed home from work today and had two more appointments and is going back tommorow. I guess these adjustments must be done in stages. Anyways, he has not been to work but one day in the last week and he is starting to worry me. The doctor scheduled a nerve test for him some time this week so hopefully that will give us some answers. I know God is in control but in the mean time I am running out of DVDs!

The Impending Opportunity

For those of you that I promised a lengthy recesitation of camp to, I apologize. I had Monday and most of Tuesday composed when I somehow lost it and now it has been over a week and so my powers of remebrance have left me somewhat on that subject. But now for the real reason of my post. Believe it or not, the charms of summer have started to wear off and I am ready once again to glide down the halls of Trinity. Yes, I am ready for school to start again. I am ready for chapels with speakers who don't make sense. I want to sing in college choir again, even if it means braving a few more of "Mr." Leporacci's demeaning looks. I want to go back to my old job where I scan everybody's card at breakfast and in doing so, hopefully learn all their names (and eating habits). I want to see all the people, my friends, who are actually comming back. I want to meet all the new freshmen. I want to go on activities (it will have to something pretty major that keeps me away from Itchnatuckee [or however you spell it] this year). I want to cheer on the team at basketball games. I want to play intermural softball and maybe actually get on base this year. I would love to do martial arts again, but I guess I could settle for seeing some old friends from there. I want to go to my first soccer game. I can't wait for rush night. I want to make my first "A" in my last Dr. Schaefer class. I want to sit under Dr. Kendall and just soak it all in. I want to spend some quality time in the library. I want to check my mail. This is my last year and I want to make it good. I still love Trinity, even after last year and all its horror, and I'm not afraid to make it known. This is my last chance before I have to face the real world and I want to make it count. Many that I hold dear will be gone and opportunities have passed, but that doesn't mean this thing is over yet! I'm going to make my senior year at Trinity a blast. Are you with me?

Thoughts on the Life Hereafter

I had a moment of both profundity and clarity on the way to work this morning (which in and of itself is profound seeing as how the drive takes me less than 10 min.). It was an answer to a question that I had been pondering in the back of my mind for some time now. The question was this:

If the world is eventually going to end and all the things that we know in it are going to turn to dust, then why does God allow it to be so full of detail?

Everywhere you look, someone has created something. Variety can be found in everything from socks to potato chips. There are more books that have been written than could ever be contained in any library. There are more songs composed then you could listen to in a lifetime. You could discover something new every day for your entire life and there would still be new things to learn about and try. So why all this variety? Why does God allow man to spend so much time on things that will eventually cease to exist? And then finally this morning I realized why. Who made man's mind that he could think of all these things? God did. When man creates something new, ultimately, God gets all the glory because He is the One who made it possible for man to think of so many things in the first place. Also, consider this: we really are unique, all of us. I think that is something that is easy to loose sight of sometimes. But in the billions of people that have lived on this earth, no two have ever been exactly alike. God gave us each something to offer the rest of the world. God didn't create groups and nationalities, He created individuals. This got me thinking a little further. I have, for a long time, been under the impression that when I die in exchange for my incorruptible body I will have to sort of loose my identity. In other words, when I get to Heaven I will cease to have all of the the qualities that make me who I am on earth. My idea of Heaven made all of it's inhabitants into something like angels, perfect beings whose only purpose is to worship God. I'm not sure where I got this from but I supppose it was a compilation of the many things that I had heard about Heaven durring childhood. However, I have recently realized, if God gave us all so much individuality on Earth, why would He take that away from us in Heaven? Being sinless doesn't mean I will be personalityless (look, I invented a word). In fact, all those facets of my personality that don't get used to their fullest on Earth may have actually been intended for Heaven in the first place! I must say that the book, "Perelandra" had really challenged my views of Heaven. I think it is going to be much more exciting than I ever dreamed it could be. The Bible actually says something to that effect. Something about how man can't even fathom what God has planned. On the one hand this excites me and makes me want to go. On the other hand it challenges me to remember to use my time wisely and to remember that this is not the end but merely th beginning. Don't give up! Exciting times are ahead!

Good News from the Father Front

I am still a little bit in surprise about something that happened to me this morning. My dad actully explained something to me. Without getting mad. Or yelling. Here's the story:
Friday night I was going to go over to my friend Courtney's house and just hang out for the evening. She lives across from Trinity. The last time I was over there I didn't leave until almost 1:00 am. When I got home my parents were not happy. How was I supposed to know? They had never told me when I had to be back. All they said when I came back was, "You can't do this to us". I really had no idea what that meant other than, "Get in earlier so we can go to bed". Well, so as not to have a repeat of that evening, before I went to Courtney's on Friday I asked my dad what would be a reasonable time for me to be back by. Without even taking his eyes off the TV he said, "I want you in the house by 11:00 pm." I just stood there in shock. Once that wore off I tried a few protests such as how I was old enough to be on my own and how I wasn't going to be out drinking and doing drugs, just hanging out at her house. Of course, all of this was to no avail and I left the house rather distraught. I didn't see him at all on Saturday and only said one word to him that day: "Hi", over the phone. I knew I needed to apologize for arguing with him though. This morning, Sunday, I got up and talked to my mom a little and then said, "I need to do something". I went into his office where he was working on his Sunday School lesson and did what I needed to. You know what he did next? He forgave me and went on to say why he wanted me home by 11. He said that the only peolpe driving home then had been out partying and drinking and that if I got hit by a drunk driver comming home late one night that he would blame himself. I was touched. Of course I kindly suggested that he was being a little over protective but I also told him that I could respect this decision. So from now on, my curfew is 11:00 pm except for special circumstances, but I'm Ok with it because for the first time that I can remember, my dad gave me a rule but he also gave me the love that goes with it.

This Post has Nothing to do with Boys or my own Personal Pitifulness so Feel Free to Venture on without Fear or Disgust

I started my job with Extended Ed. today and it wasn't that bad. I actually liked it. Honestly I was a little scared because I had gotten so many mixed reviews about it, but it was ok. I think my biggest obstacle is simply going to be bordem and monotony. But we'll see. I have the oldest kids, grades 3rd-5th, or 4th-6th depending on how you look at it. We only had 6 today but there are 22 on the role. Also at some point in the day there are at least 3 of us with them. That is such a blessing. In my last job like this I had 15 by myself. You couldn't even go to the bathroom without help. We also have these cool walkie-talkies that are really helpful. Any questions we have can be answered very easily. One sad thing is the fact that I have now entered the phase of my life where I am called by my last name. "Ms. Blondin" sounds so old maid-ish. But wait, I said I wasn't going to complain about those sort of things. Anyways, they also put me in charge of the snack cart so twice a day I take it around to all the classrooms. I guess they gave it to me because of my foodservice background. I don't mind though because it breaks up some of the monotony. Well, tommorow is water day and I'm deffinately looking forward to getting wet. Perhaps there are more updates to come, but until then, I have to get to bed (the one sad part!)
ciao!

Moving Forward

It's been a while since I ventured on here but I think it's time again. May is almost gone and with it I hope to send some of the pain this last school has found me in. It is time to heal. Healing is a part of life that I seem to ignore so often. Instead of letting God fill the voids that open up in my life I try other things. I've decided to compile a list so that it will stare me in the face the next time I fall back into this habit. Void filling activities that I have engaged in recently include:
Movies - I have seen so many movies recently it's not even funny, my Dad does this too
Reading
Computer
Shopping - why does spending a little money always seem to make me feel better?
Music
Time with friends
Dieting and comming off my diet
Excercising - though this was a little short lived and I actually need to start again
Keeping my room organized - also a bit short lived
Writing a novel
Daydreaming about my future life
Agonizing over the fact that I am currently dateless

None of these things, except the last one and the part about comming off my diet, are bad things to have in my life. I wish that I would read, spend meaningful time with friends, excercise, diet (or at least eat in a healthy manner), and keep my room straight more then I do. I would also love to actually complete that novel, even if I never do anything with it beyond that. However, I need to be honest with myself in the fact that lately, I have been looking to these things, rather than God for fulfillment. It doesn't work. In fact, it's just like the druggie and his drugs, or the durnkard and his drink: it always leaves him looking for more. It is time to stop searching. I already have the answer. Why have I wandered? Frustration perhaps. Guilt. Lack of faith. Apathy (gulp). Perhaps I will even allow that I have been attacked by the devil. But no more. It is time to rise from this proverbial quicksand and grab on to the only solid Thing I have found. I know in my head that Jesus will take me back and now it's time to believe it in my heart and put that faith into practice.

Boys are stupid

Do I really need to say any more? This has just about been my worst year of dating ever. No wait, it HAS been my worst year of dating ever. If you are allergic to complaining you may not want to continue reading, though I think maybe only Blake will read this. Oh, that is unless it gets put on Facebook in which case I will have to go and delete it . . .
Anyways, my third and FINAL relationship for the year has failed, this one must have been doomed from the start. Somebody slap me if I try to date again any time soon. The chances of that are slim to nil however due to the facts that:
a) I really don't want to be crushed and humiliated again for a while
b) I have got to loose some weight before any guys will even look at me without disgust (this year has really stressed me out)
c) dating is stupid!
I should have known better, I really should have, I mean who am I kidding right? But I still want to cling a little longer to the idea that he is out there; the man who will see me walking across his path and decide that he has to meet me and then he will ask around until he finds out who I am and will nervously come up to me and try to be cool while he intriduces himself (or gets someone else to) and then we will engage in nervous small talk and I won't be able to get him out of my head for the rest of the day and we will find ways to bump into each other until he has the nerve to ask me on a date which will be the best night of my life so far even if it is fraught with mishaps which will only make him all the more endearing and we will become passionately in love with each other and have eyes for no one else.

Ok, so maybe I've read too many romantic stories, but it could happen, right?

I'm an idiot. That stuff doesn't happen in real life to chubby geeks like me and the rapture is going to happen first anyways . . .